Makes Me Smile Like The Sun

           I am sitting here with my sister and we are watching Dexter. He is seriously my favorite serial killer ever even though he isn't exactly real. I also think I may be falling for the same person I fell for my Sophomore year. He is coming to see me not this weekend but next weekend. We aren't together but he still is gonna drive two and a half hours to see me. I was with someone for like a month and a half and he didn't even come see me once. Yep this one truly does care!! :) Cause he makes me "smile like the sun fall outta bed sing like a bird dissy in my head"

Sometimes...

      Sometimes you feel a certain way. I was very happy with him but when I got that phone call I started to question that. I do love him. He will never know how much I really care about him. The thing is I really do care that is why I cannot be with him. I love you and I always will but feeling this way about someone else isn't right if I stay with you. That is the only reason I had to end it. I won't be with him either.

Right.. or Wrong..

        I just finished my second devotion of the day. It trys to show what god thinks about right and wrong. It shows that we choose what is right and wrong in our eyes. Even though we might not always be right about what is wrong we will realize it with the help of the Lord.

Confusion

        Yes I am confused. I want him in my life so bad. I also want to be happy. Even though I am happy with him I am not. Ehhhh what to do???!!! I have my whole life ahead of me. I am 18 & he wants to "settle down." I just.... I just don't know.

♥New Life♥

         Most people have good days then bad days; I have my days. Lately life hasn't been the best for me but I have people in my life that really help me. I have a great Aunt and Uncle who let me live with them and well they are saints! They never complain or say anything negative to me. I am going into the Army in 53 days and that seems to make them proud. I am so glad I can make someone proud. My dad sure isn't but I have learned to look past that. It have realized it doesn't matter what he says about me. It doesn't matter what he thinks because he can't control me like he always has. Maybe that's why I can't sleep anynore. Maybe I ain't as good at hiding my feelings and letting things go as good as I thought I was. I wish I could forget him. Is that bad? Is that wrong? I don't really know anymore. All I am trying to do for now on is live my life. That's what imma do from here on out. Live.

BLAME ME!!!

I have taken the blame for something I didn't do before. I was blamed for something my sister did. She got tea all over our brand couch. I took the lame because she was already in a lot of trouble. I thought if I took the blame it would be easier on her when our parents got home.

JUDGEMENT

I believe that they are optimists. I tend to make to judge a book by it's cover. Which usually ends up being the wrong judgement.